“Dino-mite Duo: Raptor Jesus and Trump’s Roaring Run for 2024 Presidency!”

In the year 2024, the world was in for a wild ride as the most unexpected candidate entered the presidential race: Raptor Jesus! Yes, you read that right, the same Raptor Jesus known for his legendary dino-miracles and his uncanny ability to turn water into saurian snacks. But he wasn’t alone in this endeavor; his trusty sidekick and best friend, Donald Trump, was right there by his feathery side.

It all began when Raptor Jesus was taking a leisurely stroll through a dinosaur theme park, contemplating the meaning of life and whether or not raptors could actually ride roller coasters without vomiting. As he pondered these important matters, a thought struck him: why not bring his divine presence to the world of politics?

Enter Donald Trump, who was visiting the same theme park on a golf cart, naturally. He saw Raptor Jesus deep in thought and waddled over, his hair surprisingly well-behaved amidst the wind. “Hey, Raptor J! Whatcha thinking about?” Trump asked, attempting to high-five his dino-pal with a tiny hand that looked like it belonged to a T-Rex.

Raptor Jesus turned to Trump, his reptilian eyes gleaming with determination. “Donald, my friend, I’ve decided to run for president. The people of the world need a leader who can truly understand their struggles and their love for the prehistoric era.”

Trump scratched his head, pondering the gravity of this revelation. “You know what, Raptor J? That’s tremendous! But you’ll need a catchy slogan. How about ‘Make the Mesozoic Great Again’?”

And thus, the campaign of Raptor Jesus for the 2024 presidency began. His rallies were unlike any others, featuring feats of miracle that left spectators in awe – he turned fossils into live dinosaurs, made lava lamps out of actual lava, and even convinced pterodactyls to perform breathtaking aerial acrobatics. Supporters proudly waved dino-sized flags adorned with the slogan, while Trump tried to teach a stegosaurus how to give thumbs-up.

The debates were unforgettable. Raptor Jesus showed off his diplomatic skills by mediating a heated argument between a T-Rex and a velociraptor over who was the fiercer predator, while Trump boasted about his prowess in building walls, even suggesting a Great Wall of Fossils to keep out any unwanted time travelers.

As election day neared, the competition grew fierce. Opponents accused Raptor Jesus of trying to overturn the separation of eras, and there were concerns that his leadership might favor carnivores over herbivores. But Raptor Jesus remained unflappable, maintaining that his vision transcended species and epochs.

When the final votes were counted, the results were astounding. Raptor Jesus had won in a landslide, thanks to his promise of a world filled with peace, unity, and the occasional meteor shower to keep things interesting. Donald Trump, ever the loyal friend, was appointed Secretary of State, charged with negotiating treaties with otherworldly beings and time-traveling civilizations.

And so, under the leadership of Raptor Jesus and his trusty companion, Donald Trump, the world entered a new era of dino-tastic diplomacy and roars of laughter echoed across the globe. As the saying went, “In Raptor Jesus we trust… to lead us into the jaws of a better future!”